Fighting From The Heart

Prevailing opinion says: "if you don't have anything nice to say...blah, blah, blah."  I couldn't care less about prevailing opinions right now.  Thus, I'm'ah go 'head and say what I feel...which happens (as I thumb my nose at aforementioned opinions) NOT to be in the same stratosphere as "nice."

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Right now, I hate running.  My running workouts are either running really fast and hard or really, really slow.  There is no in between.  It's the oft unspoken frustrating side of training to heart rate, the fight you have with your heart and your mind.  Your mind wants to pick up the pace, but your heart rate is chomping at the bit to tattle on you to your coach who told you to keep it slow and steady.

Midway through last year, I began working with the doctor and a dietitan to get my blood glucose under control.  As I've written about in the past, heart disease, high blood pressure and diabetes run in my immediate family.  And even though I can fight my genes, I cannot change them.  When I tested as a borderline diabetic in late 2016, (much to my surprise as a healthy triathlete), my doctor took on the lengthy challenge of orchestrating nutrition changes for me so as not to require any meds to lower the blood glucose numbers.

At the writing of this post over a year later, I am still pharmaceutical free, but I've also fought through a long process of figuring out the right mixture of macronutrients to regulate blood glucose.  That process took a toll on my heart rate.  As my body has worked to adjust to the new macronutrient balance, my heart rate has gone ballistic, which in turn has affected heart rate training.

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I feel like I do more walking to bring my heart rate down, then I do running.  Yes, I KNOW this is a part of the process.  A part of the reeducating of my heart as my body settles into a rhythm and pattern of utilizing different macronutrients for fuel.  But knowing that makes it no easier to endure.

I hate running.

Or maybe I should say, I hate walking, because THAT's what I've been doing a lot of lately.  My long runs are laughable walk, shuffle, walk, I think I can run...nope, back to walk, then shuffle.  My legs are tired from trying to stay slow and not have to walk, and my shins are sore from all the fast walking I've have to do to bring my heart rate down during a run, so I can resume running...GAH!  It's difficult to see ANY method to this STUPID madness.  How can I get better doing this crap?

On Sunday at 8:00 AM CST, I'll meet my coach and teammates at the track for speed work.  But, it'll be the first Sunday group track of the month, which means, there will be no speed work, it'll be lactose threshold testing week and for once, I'm actually looking forward to the beating. 

Here's to hoping having done what I'm supposed to do (being obedient to the heart rate guidelines my coach set) will result in this month's test finding my heart rate zones have changed and I can finally quit fighting my heart and simply run.