Copenhagen Monday // "What If" Never Went To The Arena
A couple weeks ago, I participated in an all office all-day retreat at work. The first thing on the day's agenda was a 'get to know your coworker' exercise. We were asked to submit a picture that shows something about ourselves we'd like to share with the team.
I submitted this picture, a pic of me on the couch napping. It's my favorite thing (napping).
Outside of napping, the reason I chose this picture is because it summarizes the three forces (outside of my family) that have molded the person I am today.
The two prints hanging on the wall are scriptures, an homage to my faith in and relationship with Christ.
The blanket I'm wrapped in is an Alpha Chi Omega throw. A constant reminder of the organization that shaped the adult version of the woman I have become.
And the shirt I am wearing is a triathlon graphic in the shape of the American flag. Being a triathlete has over the years, gently restructured how I deal with pain and disappointment. It's challenged my lack of discipline and rewarded me every time I showed up even when I didn't want to and even when I donned my favorite well-worn funky attitude to alert anyone stupid enough to stand close to me for longer than a second, how much I didn't want to be there.
The longer I race, the longer my distances get. The longer the distances get, the louder the demons of doubt and fear become. I wage battle daily, sometimes I lose, but lately, I've been winning more than losing.
I LOVE this video from Howard Freeman Motivation. What I love the most about it is the phrase close to the end of the video " 'What If' never went to the arena."
It resonates deeply with me because I've spent many a season internally asking myself: "what if?" What if I'd actually done all the workouts and not skipped? What if I'd stuck to the dietitian's guidance and not decided I can eat whatever I want, whenever I want? What if I had pushed harder, tried harder, worked longer, been more diligent in consistently getting good rest?
This training season is a season focused solely on removing the "what if" from my sphere of influence. The annihilation of that phrase has fueled my actions, my training, my focus and with every workout complete, every bedtime met, ever 'crap' food I wave off with a 'no thank you.' Every calculated decision I make to choose focus over casual nonchalant, "I'll do my workout when I get around to it...or maybe tomorrow," discipline over lazily acquiescing to a "come what may" attitude. Every one of those small choices pushes "what if" farther away and propels me incrementally closer to arriving to my date with a finish line on Sunday August 19, 2018 calm, trained and ready to surprise those around me and myself.